his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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