last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have already put on my inside pants.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
