It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
