If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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