What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
