I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
