I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
