yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
