yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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