I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
