Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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