who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
