the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The Olympian is in my bed
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