I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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