Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
