I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
