I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
