At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
