I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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