The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
