is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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