I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
