Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
