The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
NoShamevember. You game?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
