Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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