You're my little dorito
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
