The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
