I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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