And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
