It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Damn victory sex feels great
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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