whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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