"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
