Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
