I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
