need another drink. this is the easiest way
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
