Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
