Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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