Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
