Soap is not a condiment
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
