Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
