Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
