I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Send help, water and tortillas.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
