i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
