How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
