I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
