sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
