So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
