Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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