marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
