Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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