My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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